Good morning, destroyer of men’s souls


‘The disease he has is addiction’, Nina Renata Aron writes of her boyfriend, K. ‘The disease I have is loving him’. Their love affair is dramatic, urgent, overwhelming – an intoxicating antidote to the long, lonely days of early motherhood. Soon after they get together, K starts using again, and years of relapses and broken promises follow. Even as his addiction deepens, she stays, convinced she is the one who can get him sober. After an adolescence marred by family trauma and addiction, Nina can’t help but feel responsible for those suffering around her. How can she break this pattern? If she leaves K, has she failed him? Writing in prose at once unflinching and acrobatic, Aron delivers a piercing memoir of romance and addiction, drawing on intimate anecdotes as well as academic research to crack open the long-feminised and overlooked phenomenon of codependency.


A moving memoir of a love affair with an addict, weaving personal reckoning with psychology and history to grapple with addiction, codependency and our appetite for obsessive love ‘Incredible … so well written and loving that once you pick it up, you’ll read it in a couple of sittings.’ Stylist ‘A scorching, unvarnished memoir’ EW ‘Dark, gorgeously narrated’ Publishers Weekly ‘A beautiful, nuanced portrait of living alongside addiction’ Booklist ‘This book is an essential read’ Washington Post ‘The disease he has is addiction,’ Nina Renata Aron writes of her boyfriend. ‘The disease I have is loving him.’ Their love affair is dramatic, urgent – an intoxicating antidote to the lonely days of early motherhood. But soon, K starts using again. Even as his addiction deepens, Nina stays, thinking she can save him. It’s a familiar pattern, developed in an adolescence marked by family trauma – how can she break it? If she leaves, has she failed? In this unflinching memoir, Aron shows the devastating effect of addiction on loved ones. She also untangles the messy ties between her own history of enabling, society’s expecations of womanhood and our ideas of love. She cracks open the feminised phenomenon of co-dependency, tracing its development from the formation of Al-Anon to recent research in the psychology of addiction, and asks uncomfortable questions about when help becomes harm and how love really works.

Additional information

Weight0.444 kg
Dimensions22.2 × 14.4 × 2.9 cm










362.2913092 (edition:23)


General – Trade / Code: K